Archive for category Funny

India’s current News and Political culture

Got this as a forward from someone. This is really interesting and actually how stuff currently works in India. If you do not known India’s current scenario, don’t bother reading this ahead.

Old Story:
The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and
laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool
and laughs dances plays the summer away. Come winter, the Ant is warm and
well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the
cold.

New Indian Version:
The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and
laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant’s a fool
and laughs dances plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands
to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others
are cold and starving.

NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper
next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with
food.

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor
Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant’s house.

Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that
Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter .

Mayawati states this as ‘injustice’ done on Minorities.

Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticize the Indian Government for
not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the
Grasshopper (many promising Heaven & Everlasting Peace for prompt support
as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) .

Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for ‘Bengal Bandh’ in
West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.

CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in
the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and
Grasshoppers.

Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway
Trains, aptly named as the ‘Grasshopper Rath’.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the ‘Prevention of Terrorism Against
Grasshoppers Act’[POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of the winter.

Arjun Singh makes ‘Special Reservation’ for Grasshoppers in Educational
Institutions in Government Services.

The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left
to pay his retroactive taxes, it’s home is confiscated by the Government
and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV, BBC, CNN.

Arundhati Roy calls it ‘A Triumph of Justice’.

Lalu calls it ‘Socialistic Justice’.

CPM calls it the ‘Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden’

Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.

Many years later…

The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar
company in Silicon Valley,

100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere
in India ,

…AND

As a result of losing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the
grasshoppers, India is still a developing country…!!

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We(O)man

1 . (Whatever)
Men: What should we have for dinner?
Women: Whatever..
Men: Why don’t we have Mexican?
Women: No not Mexican, the last time I got pimples on my face
Men: Alright, why don’t we have Szechwan cuisine
Women: Yesterday we ate Szechwan , today too?
Men: Hmm….. I suggest we have seafood
Women: Seafood is not good, I got diarrhea
Men: Then what do you suggest?
Women : Whatever..

2. (Anything)
Men: So what should we do now?
Women: Anything
Men: How about watching a movie? It’s been a long time
Women: Watching movie is no good, it’s a waste of time
Men: How about we go for bowling, or some exercises?
Women: Exercise on such a hot day?
Men: Then find a cafe and have a drink
Women: I am off caffeine
Men: Then what do you suggest?
Women: Anything

3. (You decide)
Men: Then do we just go home?
Women: You decide
Men: Let’s take the bus, I will accompany you
Women: The bus is dirty and crowded.
Men: OK; we will take a cab
Women: Not worth it… For such a short distance
Men: All right, then we can walk. We can enjoy the weather
Women: I am hungry, can’t walk.
Men: Then what do you suggest?
Women: You decide
Men: Let’s have dinner first?
Women: Whatever…
Men: What shall we eat?
Women: Anything..

4. (ANYTIME.)..
Men: At what time do I have to call you?
Women: Any time as u wish
Men: But last time when I call u in the morning u didn’t pick up?
Women: I was sleeping.
Men: OK; when I try to call you around 11 am u didn’t pick up?
Women: I was shopping with my mother
Men: So, when I try to call you around 2-3 u didn’t pick up?
Women: I was tired and relaxing.
Men: Then what about 5 PM?
Women: I was watching a cartoon.
Men: So, then why didn’t you pick u phone in the night?
Women: I was studying
Men: Ok then tell me which time is the most convenience time for you to talk.
Women: Anytime.

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How to effectively handle office conflicts – Funny

Here’s an awesome demonstration on how you can effectively handle conflicts in your life :)

Awesome demonstration on how to handle conflicts

PS: I am not responsible for any ill-effects if you follow the instructions in the demo…

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The diagram demonstrates the THOUGHTS in a female and male brain during the simple question: “Shall we go for a party?”

Male and Female Brain

Male and Female Brain

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15 Reasons why a beer is better than a Woman

Hilarious reasons why a beer is better than a woman!!!

Why A Beer is Better than A Woman

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ABCD for the new world!!

ABCD for the new generation is going to be different from what we identified the alphabets with. Check the new identity for every alphabet :)

New Age Alphabets

New Age Alphabets

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No Appraisals??? Nothing describes this better..

Check the picture attached, speaks more than any explanation I can type out :D :D

No Increment

No Increment

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Baby care funny instructions!

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Dubai Recession update

 
 

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Awesome poetry

WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKED FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE

This is the winner

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That’s why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

I thought that I could love no other —
that is until I met your sister.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s empty and so is your head.

I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don’t take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes —
Damn, I’m good at telling lies!

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe ‘Go to hell.’

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts tequila, one part lime?

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