The Great Elephant PJ collection

Funny PJ on elephants

Reader discretion recommended. I do not take responsibility of any actions you might be compelled to perform after reading this post! 😉

Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit card.

Q: Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?
A: Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Aspirin.

Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A: Because it fell asleep.

Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was glued to the first one.

Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was a copy cat.

Q: Why did the fourth elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It thought this was all a game.

Q: And why did the tree fall down?
A: It thought it was an elephant.

Q: What does an elephant and a blueberry have in common?
A: They’re both blue, except for the elephant.

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw 1,000 elephants coming over the hill?
A: Look, there’s 1,000 elephants coming over the hill.

Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.

Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
A: No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him until he turns blue, then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

Q: How do you shoot a green elephant?
A: Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue, then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

Q: How do you shoot a pink elephant?
A: First you bake a cake, and put 3 raisins on top, then you take it out in the jungle where the pink elephant will find it, and you wait. Eventually the elephant comes along, finds the cake, eats the raisins and throws the cake away. Then you go home and bake another cake and put 2 raisins on top, take it out in the jungle where the elephant will find it. The elephant comes along, finds the cake, eats the 2 raisins and throws the cake away. You go home and bake another cake and put only one raisin on it. Then you trek back into the jungle and put the cake where the pink elephant will find it. The elephant comes along eats the raisin, and throws that cake away. Now you go home and bake another cake, but (here’s the sneaky part) you don’t put any raisins on it. You take it out into the jungle where the elephant will find it and lie in wait. The pink elephant comes along and finds the cake, he gets SO mad that there aren’t any raisins on it, he turns red, then you jump on him, strangle him until he turns blue……and you shoot him with a BLUE ELEPHANT GUN!!!

Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: Aw, come one, have you ever seen a yellow elephant !?!

Q: Why do elephants have red eyes?
A: So they can hide themselves better in cherry trees.

Q: Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
A: No? See how well the trick with the red eyes works?

Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A: Time to get a new fence.

Q: Where does an 8 ton elephant sit?
A: Any damn place where he pleases!

Q: Why is an elephant covered in wrinkles?
A: Ever try to iron one?

6 thoughts on “The Great Elephant PJ collection”

  1. Hahahahaha I loved the jokes, they were very funny, still laughing……I’m bored at the office and you made my day!! 😀

    hahahahhahahahahahah

    Loved the pink elephant joke 😀

  2. How do green elephants go down from cherry trees?
    They sit on a leaf and wait for autumn.
    How do you put 4 elephants in a Fiat 500?
    2 on the front seats, 2 on the back seat.
    Why are crocodiles flat?
    They walked under cherry trees in autumn.
    How do elephants hide in blooming cherry trees?
    They wear pink socks.
    How can you tell there are 4 elephants in a church?
    How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?
    Open the door, push the elphant in, close the door.
    A Fiat 500 is parked by the doorway.
    Why do elephants travel in Fiat 500 rather than riding bicycle?
    They have no finger to ring the bell.
    Why duck have so large feet?
    To put out burning bushes.
    How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?
    Open the door, pull the elphant out, push the giraffe in, close the door.
    Why elephants have so large feet?
    To put out burning ducks.
    What did Tarzan say when 1000 elephants wearing sunglasses came over the hill?
    Nothing, he didn’t recognize them with their sunglasses.
    What’s harder than putting 4 elephants in a Fiat 500?
    To f*** an elephant in a Fiat 500.
    How do you know there was an elephant in the refrigerator?
    Footprints in the butter.
    The Fiat 500 is parked by the church but you only see 3 of them on the pews. Where’s the 4th?
    She’s in the confessionnal, telling about what happened in the Fiat 500 earlier.
    What do elephants and giraffes know that you don’t know for sure?
    Whether the light is actually off or on when you close the fridge’s door.
    What do you give to an elephant who has diarrhea?
    Much room.
    Why can’t a man lift an elephant with one hand?
    Because elephants have no hand at all.
    Why do elephants wear yellow socks these days?
    The pink ones are in laundry, stained with butter.
    Which animal was missing on Noah’s Ark?
    The giraffe, stuck in the refrigerator.

  3. Correction:
    Fiat 500 parked by the door is actually the answer to 4 lines above… I shuffled these jokes a bit too much, woops.

  4. How does an elephant cross a pond?
    He takes off his yellow socks and jumps from a lilypad to another.
    Why do elephants move in compact herds?
    They all want to be near the one who’s got a radio.
    Why do rhinoceros move in compact herds?
    They want to have elephants believing they also have a radio.
    How do you put 4 rhinos in a fiat 500?
    You can’t, elephants take too much room in it.
    How do you know the giraffe is still stuck in the refrigerator?
    You put an elephant in it and you notice you can’t close the door.
    What do you get when an elephant mates with a rhino?
    Hell if i know.
    What do you get when an elephant mates with a rabbit?
    A dead rabbit with a 7 inch wide butthole on the backseat of a Fiat 500.
    How do you keep an elephant from escaping through a keyhole?
    Make a knot to his tail.
    What does a drunk elephant see?
    grey humans.
    An elephant meets a naked man and says
    “how can you eat with that?”
    Why are there so many elephants moving in herd in Africa?
    There’s room for only 4 of them in the Fiat 500. (and one in the fridge)
    How do green elephants hide in apple trees?
    They paint their testicle red.
    How do you kill a red testicled green elephant?
    Use the raisin cake trick to make him turn red then strangle him to make him turn blue and kill him with the blue elephant gun, or buy a red-testicled-green-elephant-gun.
    Why does an elephant leave the herd once in a while?
    The radio needs new batteries.

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